You Were The Cancer

by geoff rickley (thursday).....(holy god damn shit...)

It's the sigh of a building falling down
It's the world spinning us around
It's the slip of the surgeon's knife
And the darker crimes of common existence
It's a missile sleeping in the ground
It's a camera trying to photograph a sound
It's a case for the basic flaw
The end of the film in the coming attractions
It's a cell that's spinning out of control
It's a light at the edge of a black hole
Scream of an orchestra
Total collapse or an overreaction

In your blood there is a sad, sad song
Circulating through your nervous system
It's killing you but it's bringing me along
You were the cancer in my life
You were the cancer all the time
You were the cancer
That's all you'll ever be

It's the comfort in a bathtub full of ice
It's the promise of a peaceful afterlife
Or the string of a violin wound too tight
It's gasping for oxygen
It's a signal that's sent out over the air
At the speed of a thousand unheard prayers
It's the faith in the chemicals
A shot in the dark the size of a particle
It's blood from the neon sign
Trying to light a way through your insides
Make a map of the badlands
Watch your life slip through your hands

They're not for shaking
They're not for praying
They're just for holding close - Everything you love in this fragile little dream

I see you're coming down
And no one knows where
I see you're coming down
Without a prayer

You were the cancer in my life
You were the cancer all the time
You were the cancer
That's all you'll ever be

Your blood is a sad, sad song
Bleeding through your nervous system
It's killing you but it's bringing me along
It's a sound that's spinning out of control
It's a light at the edge of a black hole
Scream of an orchestra
Total collapse of an overreaction



inspiration just kicked me in the jaw with this one.

a rather disturbing vision

my musical idols, a philosophical hero, matt embree and the rx bandits were looking for another guitarist and somehow i ended up being that lucky soul. i don't know the specifics, but there i was driving the van to some house/show that we were scheduled to play/hang out for the next couple nights. i ended up getting lost for a little bit, but i found my way back quickly. this kind of annoyed matt though, i don't know why, it doesn't seem like him to get annoyed by something that trivial, we still had plenty of time to make it there. we get to the place and it's like a log cabin, but the whole house is a big living room. there were all kinds of people there. everyone seemed to be happy and getting along nicely with one another, but i felt like something was unsaid, like everyone was happy because they were high or something.. so i sat there, quiet, trying to grasp what was happening. let me say, joe troy is the nicest fucking guy.. in real life, outside the chain reaction, i remember him handing out sandwiches. in my dream he was the only one who would talk to me, asking me questions, for the most part. every time i tried talking to matt, he would ignore me or brush me off like i was embarassing him or something. this continued until i woke up, and now i can't listen to his voice without thinking about that nightmare... sucks... i've met matt in real life and he was the holiest, most positive person i've ever come across. i've never felt so nervous in front of, yet accepted so much by anyone in my life. i swear i felt something.. magical when he patted my shoulder as i walked away.. so why was he this big ass douche in my dream?

i think i know, that i relate rx bandits too much to a person that i now pretty much despise, because we used to enjoy the music so much together.

i can't enjoy it now like i used to. she reminds me of how fragile a person can be but i see it in myself i'm letting go of all i've ever learned about you just as you have of yourself / well i'm not like you all the time was wasted, how do you go on thinking nothing is wrong? long gone.

Survivors

the morning star lights the pages that fill my mind
an optimistic dream, so distantly beaming back at me
and the only thing i've left to hold on to.. holding on

you work, work, work
for a time believed more valuable
but when the one returns
ya think He'll take you home?

is this all we can do?
making our mother's proud..

in such a bind as this, bounded
by an institution blind, devoid
where am i to go if i were to just let it all go?
and call this genesis...

you work, work, work
for a time believed more valuable
but when the time has come
ya think He'll take you home?

it feels so lonely (loneliness), keeping me company...

you know, it's right in front of me..
watching, waiting

oh, what an optimistic dream this is
the fear of belief
feeling nothing
losing responsibility
rising above

in believing nothing, i fear a feeling
in knowing what's about to happen...

and it's only gonna get worse.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


you won't care to hear it, i know
but sometimes it just feels better
letting go.

the only route i need to know